There’s a funny little irony in the therapy world. Therapists spend their days gently encouraging people to slow down, breathe, drink water, set boundaries, rest, stop answering emails at 11:47pm, and perhaps not emotionally carry everyone they’ve ever met like a backpack full of bricks. And then… many of us promptly ignore our own advice. We become emotional sat navs for others while driving ourselves directly into burnout with a stale granola bar and a lukewarm coffee. So l

Compassion, Understanding, and the Path Toward Healing Self harm is a subject that is often misunderstood. It can be difficult to talk about, and for many people it carries a great deal of shame, secrecy, or fear of being judged. Because of this, many individuals struggle alone for a long time before reaching out for support. As a counsellor, I often find that one of the first helpful steps is simply bringing clarity and compassion to the conversation. Understanding what self

Let’s talk about that moment. You’re sitting in the therapy room. You’ve been talking… and then suddenly......silence. Not a natural, cosy kind of silence. Not the peaceful “we’re both enjoying this” kind. No, this is the kind where you suddenly become very aware of your breathing, the ticking clock, and possibly what you’re going to have for dinner later. And then the thoughts creep in: “Should I say something?” “Are they waiting for me?” “Have I said something wrong?” If yo

Let’s talk about burnout. Not the glamorous, “I’m so busy and important” kind people humble brag about. I mean the real kind, the one where your brain feels like it’s buffering, your motivation has quietly packed a bag and left, and even replying to a simple email feels like climbing Everest in flip-flops. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. Burnout has become something of an uninvited houseguest in modern life. It shows up slowly, eats all your energy, and refuses to le

There’s a particular kind of pain that doesn’t just live in the body, it lives in the space between what you feel and what others are willing to understand. Living with fibromyalgia is already complex. But what often makes it heavier is not just the fatigue, the flares, or the unpredictability, it’s the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) message that what you’re experiencing isn’t quite real enough. And when trauma is part of your story, that complexity deepens. When Your B

For many people, the idea of therapy can feel unfamiliar, a little uncomfortable, or even out of reach. Even though conversations about mental health are becoming more open, our cultural backgrounds, family values, and personal experiences still play a big part in how we view asking for support. In some families or communities, emotional struggles are something you’re expected to carry quietly, or to work through within the family. Strength might be seen as getting on with th

Let’s start with a gentle truth: coming to counselling can feel a bit strange. You’re sitting in a room (or on a video call) with someone you may not know very well, and they’re asking questions like, “How does that make you feel?” Meanwhile, a small part of you is thinking, “I’m not entirely sure… and also, do I sound okay saying this out loud?” If you’ve ever felt that way, you maybe surprised to hear thats very common. So here are a few things counsellors often wish clien

Let’s be honest…..if emotions came with a user manual, most of us would have skimmed the first page, lost it somewhere under a pile of life admin, and carried on saying, “I’m fine.” Or maybe, on a slightly more expressive day: “I’m stressed.” Or the classic: “I’m just a bit tired.” But here’s the thing, our emotional world is rarely that simple. “Annoyed” can be a cover story for disappointment. “Stressed” might be anxiety, overwhelm, pressure, or even fear dressed up in

Let’s talk about something a lot of people think, but don’t always say out loud: “Is this therapy thing… actually working?” If you’ve ever sat on a sofa (or stared at a screen on Zoom), wondering whether you’re just paying someone to nod thoughtfully while you unravel… you are absolutely not alone. And before we go any further, no, you’re not “doing therapy wrong.” There’s no secret handshake, no gold star chart, and definitely no prize for “Most Emotionally Efficient Client.

Let’s start with a simple truth: Pets don’t care about your to do list. They’re not impressed by productivity, they don’t judge your life choices, and they definitely don’t mind if you’ve worn the same hoodie three days in a row. What they do care about is this: Are you here? Can we sit together? Is it time for snacks? And honestly… that’s part of the magic. The Quiet Comfort of Not Having to Be “On” One of the most soothing things about spending time with animals is that you

There are some emotions that arrive loudly. And then there’s shame. Shame is quieter, More hidden, It often sits just beneath the surface of what’s being said tucked into the pauses, the nervous laughter, the “it’s probably silly but…” moments. In the therapy room, shame rarely introduces itself directly. But it’s often there. What Shame Can Look Like in Therapy Shame doesn’t always sound like “I feel ashamed.” More often, it sounds like: “I shouldn’t feel this way.”“Other p

Let me guess. You’ve told yourself at least one of the following recently: “I should be more confident by now.” “Everyone else seems to have it together.” “Why do I doubt myself so much?” If so, you’re in very good…. and very human…. company. Many of the people I work with, particularly those navigating trauma , PTSD , anxiety , self harm , or painful relationship patterns , arrive quietly convinced that their self esteem is fundamentally… faulty. Like everyone else got the i

There’s a common myth about therapy that it’s only something you turn to when everything has spectacularly fallen apart. Like it sits in a glass box labelled: “Break in case of emotional emergency.” And while therapy absolutely is there for those moments, when life feels overwhelming, heavy, or just plain hard,i t’s also so much more than that. In reality, therapy is a space for… well, being human. Messy, thoughtful, confused, stuck, growing, hopeful, all of it. “Do I

If you’ve ever been told to “just take a hot bath” or “go for a walk” while your nervous system is in full panic mode… you’re in very good company. When flashbacks hit, when anxiety surges, when intrusive thoughts are loud and relentless, those well meaning suggestions can feel miles away from what your body is actually experiencing. In the moment, your system isn’t looking for lifestyle upgrades, it’s trying to survive what feels like danger. So before anything else: There i

Recently, a client asked me a question that really stayed with me: “Have you heard of the Glass Child” I’ll be honest, while I immediately recognised the experience they were describing, I hadn’t actually come across the term itself before. It’s one of those moments where you realise that something you’ve seen play out many times in people’s lives has, in fact, been quietly named and shared by others too. So I wanted to write a little about it here, both for that client, and

Every now and then, a book comes into your life that doesn’t just sit on a shelf, it stays with you. It quietly weaves its way into your thinking, your conversations, and even the way you support others. For me, that book is The Gift by Dr Edith Eger. I have to admit; this wasn’t a book I found on my own. It was recommended to me, and I’m so grateful it was. Because, honestly, it’s changed my life in ways I didn’t expect at the time. Not in one big dramatic moment, but in lo

When anxiety is more in the background (not at peak intensity), these can help build nervous system resilience over time. Gentle Nervous System Care Regular meals and hydration Consistent sleep routine (even if imperfect) Reducing caffeine if anxiety is very high Predictable daily rhythms where possible Boring? Maybe, Powerful for the nervous system? Very. Build a “Calm Kit” Having items ready can help when you’re thinking brain goes offline. Ideas: Something cold (cool pack)

There’s a moment that happens more often in therapy than you might expect. Someone is describing something objectively quite painful, heartbreak, anxiety, childhood wounds, existential dread, and then, right at the end, they add a little laugh. A shrug. A “but yeah, it’s fine,” delivered with a half-smile. And there it is: humour , slipping quietly into the room like it pays rent. Humour in therapy is fascinating because it does so many jobs at once. It softens the edge

Why It’s Difficult, and Why It Can Be an Important Part of Healing Most of us spend a lot of time trying to avoid discomfort. That’s a very natural human response. If something feels unpleasant, painful, or overwhelming, our instinct is often to move away from it as quickly as possible. We might distract ourselves, stay busy, scroll through our phones, push feelings aside, or try to “think our way out” of what we’re feeling. In the short term, these strategies can make sense.

When people hear the word abuse , many imagine visible physical violence. That image is powerful, but the reality is that abuse often looks very different from what people expect. Abuse can be subtle. It can be confusing. It can develop slowly over time. Sometimes it becomes part of everyday life before someone realises something isn’t right. I want to begin by saying something very clearly: if you are questioning whether what you have experienced was abuse, that question its