Therapy is a relationship. And like any real relationship, there may be moments when something doesn’t quite feel right. Perhaps I said something that didn’t land in the way I intended. Maybe you left a session feeling unsettled or misunderstood. Or perhaps something stayed with you afterwards that felt uncomfortable or confusing. These moments can happen in therapy, and they are often referred to as ruptures . A rupture simply means that something in the connection between t

If you’ve ever found yourself apologising for things that aren’t your fault, saying "thank you" when someone does the bare minimum, or constantly scanning the room without knowing why, you are not strange, broken, or "too sensitive." You are human. And more importantly, your nervous system may be doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe. As a counsellor specialising in PTSD, trauma, anxiety, self‑esteem, and self‑harm recovery, I see these patterns every single we

Let me say something that might surprise you: Therapy isn’t just about techniques.It ’s not just worksheets.It ’s not clever insights or perfectly timed questions. The real work? The relationship. Without it, therapy is just two people sitting in a room talking about feelings and hoping for the best. With it? That’s where change actually happen. Why the Relationship Matters So Much Research has shown again and again that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is one of t

Let’s talk about something that many people experience in therapy… and almost nobody talks about out loud. Getting attached to your therapist. If you’ve ever found yourself: thinking about them between sessions really looking forward to seeing them feeling oddly emotional when sessions end worrying you’re “too dependent” or quietly Googling “is it normal to feel attached to my therapist???” at 2am …you are very, very not alone. And more importantly: You are not doing therapy

If you’ve found yourself standing in the kitchen thinking, Why am I here? , while also being mysteriously furious about the existence of Tupperware… welcome. You may be meeting menopause. And before we go any further, let me say this clearly, because many of the women I work with need to hear it: You are not losing your mind. You are not becoming “too sensitive.” And no, you are not just being dramatic. Menopause can have a profound emotional and psychological impact, especia

Have you ever snapped at someone you love and thought,  “Whoa… where did that come from?” Or completely shut down in the middle of a conversation and felt like your brain just left the building? First of all, you’re not dramatic. You’re not weak. And you’re definitely not broken. You might just be outside your  window of tolerance . Let’s talk about what that actually means, in plain English, without the therapy jargon soup. So… What  Is  the Window of Tolerance? The term “Wi

So, you’ve signed up to train as a counsellor. You probably imagined thoughtful conversations, life changing moments and feeling calm, wise and centred at all times. And then reality arrived. Suddenly you’re juggling assignments, placements, supervision, skills practice, personal therapy, reflective journals and a reading list that could double as a doorstop. At some point you’ve almost certainly asked yourself: “What on earth have I done?” Welcome to counselling training. Pu

When we talk about neurodiversity, people often imagine a neat little box with a label on it. “Ah yes, you’re autistic, ADHD, dyslexic…” as if one word could capture the incredible complexity of a human being. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Neurodiversity is more like an umbrella, a big, colourful, slightly unpredictable umbrella. Underneath it are many ways brains can experience the world: autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, sensory processing differences, trauma, CPTSD, being a

I spend a lot of my working life sitting with grief. As a counsellor, I am trained to understand it, to hold space for it, to explain it. I know the theories, the models, the language. I can talk about loss in calm, measured, professional sentences. And then I go home and remember I’m also just a human being trying to survive my own version of it. That’s the funny thing about grief; it does not care about job titles or training. It turns up anyway, uninvited, usually at the w

One of the questions I hear most often is: “So… what actually happens in counselling?” And the honest answer is… it depends. Counselling isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Different counsellors use different approaches (we call them “modalities”), and each of those approaches has its own way of working. I sometimes describe modalities like tools in a toolbox, a hammer is great for certain jobs, a screwdriver for others. None of them are “better,” they just do different thi

If healing were linear, therapy might come with a helpful little progress bar. Emotional processing… 72% complete. Insight arriving shortly… Sadly, or perhaps reassuringly, it doesn’t work like that. Because humans don’t work like that. One of the things I hear most often in the therapy room is some version of: “Why am I not fixed yet?” “Why don’t I just get this?” “Nothing seems to be changing.” “I’ve been in therapy for so long…” And underneath those questions is usually so

When people think about starting counselling, they often imagine the hardest part will be learning to trust the therapist. And yes, trust matters. Sitting with someone new and talking about personal, vulnerable things can feel like a big step. But there’s another kind of trust that matters just as much in the therapy room: Your ability to trust yourself...... Long before you ever consider counselling, you’ve been living with your own thoughts, feelings, instincts and reaction

So… I’ve decided to start a blog....... Even typing that makes me smile a little. As a counsellor I spend most of my working life listening, not writing. But over the years I’ve realised there are things I want to say outside the therapy room too, things I hope might reassure, encourage, and maybe even bring a bit of relief to anyone who finds their way here. My website already tells you the practical stuff: what I offer as a counsellor and supervisor, the courses I run, the