Finding Safer Ways to Cope With Difficult Feelings When someone struggles with self-harm, it is often because they are trying to cope with emotions that feel overwhelming, confusing, or too painful to hold alone. For many people, self-harm becomes a way of managing intense feelings such as anxiety, anger, shame, sadness, or emotional numbness. In those moments, the behaviour can bring a sense of temporary relief or release. Because of this, it is important to understand that

Work plays a huge role in our lives. For many of us, it's where we spend a large chunk of our waking hours, where we build relationships, develop skills, and find a sense of purpose. It can also be where we experience some of our greatest stress. Whether you're working in an office, from home, on a construction site, in healthcare, education, retail, or running your own business, work has a powerful influence on our mental health. While a good working environment can boost co

Many workplaces are becoming increasingly aware of the importance of employee wellbeing. Thankfully, the days of "just get on with it" are slowly being replaced by a greater understanding that mental health matters. One way employers often support staff is through an Employee Assistance Programme, more commonly known as an EAP. If you've heard the term but aren't entirely sure what it means, you're not alone. Many people only discover their workplace offers an EAP when they'r

One of the questions therapists are sometimes asked is: "Could you also see my partner?" Or perhaps: "My daughter is struggling too. Could she come and see you?" Occasionally, the request expands to what feels like an entire family tree. Whilst it might seem practical to have one therapist supporting everyone, the reality is a little more complicated. In fact, there are very good reasons why therapists often have to say no. This is where something called a conflict of interes

Let's be honest. Most of us have picked up our phones to "just quickly check something" and then somehow resurfaced 45 minutes later watching a video of a raccoon stealing cat food in another country. The internet is a fascinating place. Unfortunately, our minds don't always feel refreshed after spending time there. When life feels stressful, overwhelming, or emotionally heavy, one of the simplest things we can do is something humans have been doing for thousands of years: go

When people think about therapy, they often arrive with a collection of assumptions gathered from films, social media, well meaning friends, and the occasional dramatic television breakthrough that somehow resolves twenty years of emotional pain in under forty five minutes. It's understandable. Most of us aren't taught what therapy actually looks like. So perhaps a good place to start is by talking about what therapy is not. Therapy Is Not Having Someone Tell You What To Do T

One of the most common things I hear in the therapy room isn't a deep revelation or a dramatic breakthrough. It's: "I don't really know what I want to talk about today." Closely followed by: "I feel like I'm wasting your time." If you've ever had that thought before a counselling session, during a session, or even while booking one, you're certainly not alone. In fact, this feeling appears so often that if it had its own loyalty card, many of us would have earned a free coffe

If you're considering a career in counselling, you've probably had a few people say things like: "You get paid to chat to people all day." "That sounds easy." "Must be nice sitting in a comfy chair drinking tea." And whilst I can confirm that many therapists do indeed own an impressive collection of mugs, there is quite a bit more to the role than tea, tissues, and thoughtful nodding. In fact, one of the biggest surprises for many counselling students is discovering just how

If there's one thing most human beings have in common, it's that we like certainty. We like knowing where we're going, what we're doing, and preferably what the Wi-Fi password is before we arrive. Yet life has a habit of ignoring our carefully crafted plans. Jobs change. Relationships change. Children grow up. Friends move away. Health changes. Circumstances change. Even the local supermarket occasionally decides to move everything around just to keep us on our toes. Whether

"I'm fine." "It wasn't that bad." "I've moved on from it." "I don't really think it affects me anymore." Many of us have said things like this at some point in our lives. Sometimes they're true. Other times, they can be signs of something psychologists call denial a natural and often unconscious way of protecting ourselves from emotional pain. If you're considering therapy, or you're already working with a therapist, you may have come across the idea of denial and wondered wh

Have you ever been sitting in a conversation and suddenly realised you've missed the last few minutes? Or perhaps you've felt disconnected from your body, as though you're watching life happen from a distance rather than living it? This experience is often called dissociation, and for many people it can feel frightening, confusing, and deeply unsettling. As a therapist, I work with dissociation regularly. As someone who has experienced it myself, I also understand how scary i

When people begin counselling, they often hear the word supervision mentioned in a therapist's policies or privacy information. Naturally, this can raise questions: "Does someone else know what I'm talking about in therapy?" "Is my information being shared?" "Why does my therapist need supervision?" These are important questions, and understanding supervision can help you feel more confident about the counselling process. Supervision: A Vital Part of Ethical Counselling Super

This week I received an email informing me that TLC Counselling had been selected as "The Best Counselling Service in Swindon" for 2026. Now, before you imagine me striding around the house wearing an imaginary crown and insisting everyone refers to me as "The Best Counsellor in Swindon", that's not quite how it went. In reality, my first reaction was suspicion. My second reaction was more suspicion. And my third reaction involved opening multiple browser tabs and conducting

If there’s one thing we can all agree on in Britain, it’s that we love talking about the weather. Unfortunately, we’re not always saying nice things about it. When it’s raining, we long for sunshine. When it’s sunny, it’s suddenly too hot. If there’s snow, it causes chaos. If there’s no snow, we complain that winter is boring. It sometimes feels as though the British relationship with the weather is a bit like a long term marriage we couldn’t live without it, but we’re not en

A client recently asked me a question that made me smile. "Do you ever struggle with imposter syndrome yourself?" My answer? Absolutely. Hell yes. In fact, if imposter syndrome were a boomerang, I'd have thrown it away years ago, only for it to come flying back unexpectedly every now and then. You'd think that after years of training, countless hours of supervision, personal therapy, professional development, and working with clients, those feelings would disappear completely

One of the things I often hear in the therapy room is: "I knew something didn't feel right, but I couldn't put my finger on it." Many clients come to counselling feeling confused, exhausted, or questioning themselves after experiencing difficult relationship dynamics. Often, they have spent months, or even years, trying to understand why a relationship leaves them feeling so small, anxious, or emotionally drained. Sometimes, as we begin exploring their experiences together, a

Have you ever found yourself thinking: "Why do I keep ending up in the same type of relationship?" Or perhaps: "Why do I panic when someone doesn't text back for three hours?" Or even: "Why do I desperately want closeness but then feel trapped when I get it?" If so, you're not alone. As a therapist, I often find that conversations about relationships eventually lead us towards attachment theory. It can be one of those lightbulb moments in therapy, suddenly, patterns that once

Understanding the Feelings Behind the Behaviour Self harm is often one of the most misunderstood coping behaviours. From the outside, it can be difficult for others to understand why someone would intentionally hurt themselves. Because of this misunderstanding, people who struggle with self harm are often met with judgement, fear, or assumptions that can make it even harder to speak about what they are going through. In reality, self harm is usually not about wanting to die.

There’s a funny little irony in the therapy world. Therapists spend their days gently encouraging people to slow down, breathe, drink water, set boundaries, rest, stop answering emails at 11:47pm, and perhaps not emotionally carry everyone they’ve ever met like a backpack full of bricks. And then… many of us promptly ignore our own advice. We become emotional sat navs for others while driving ourselves directly into burnout with a stale granola bar and a lukewarm coffee. So l

Compassion, Understanding, and the Path Toward Healing Self harm is a subject that is often misunderstood. It can be difficult to talk about, and for many people it carries a great deal of shame, secrecy, or fear of being judged. Because of this, many individuals struggle alone for a long time before reaching out for support. As a counsellor, I often find that one of the first helpful steps is simply bringing clarity and compassion to the conversation. Understanding what self