When an Award Email Lands in Your Inbox (and Your First Thought Is "This Can't Be Right")

This week I received an email informing me that TLC Counselling had been selected as

"The Best Counselling Service in Swindon" for 2026.

Now, before you imagine me striding around the house wearing an imaginary crown and insisting everyone refers to me as "The Best Counsellor in Swindon", that's not quite how it went.

In reality, my first reaction was suspicion.

My second reaction was more suspicion.

And my third reaction involved opening multiple browser tabs and conducting what can only be described as a small scale investigation.

I checked the organisation.

I checked the website.

I checked whether it was genuine.

I checked whether someone had made a mistake.

I checked whether there was perhaps another TLC Counselling hidden somewhere that they had intended to contact instead.

Only after satisfying myself that it was, in fact, a genuine award did another thought appear:

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

Because if I'm honest, I don't think of myself as "the best" counsellor in Swindon.

I know there are many talented, compassionate, highly skilled counsellors working across the area. Some have decades more experience than I do. Some have different specialisms.

Some will connect with clients in ways that I couldn't.

Counselling isn't a race.

It's not a league table.

It's not football.

No one is topping the counselling charts this week before being relegated next season.

What matters most is the relationship between counsellor and client. Different people need different things at different times.

So while I was grateful for the recognition, I also found myself feeling slightly uncomfortable with it.

And that discomfort got me thinking.

Because what I experienced is something I hear about regularly in the counselling room.

Many people struggle far more with praise than they do with criticism.

Think about that for a moment..........

Someone tells us we've done something wrong and we can replay it in our minds for weeks.

Someone tells us we've done something well and we spend ten minutes explaining why they're mistaken.

We minimise.

We dismiss.

We deflect.

We change the subject.

We immediately point out our flaws before anybody else can.

Imagine offering someone a gift and watching them repeatedly hand it back.

That's often what happens when praise comes our way.

"You're a really good parent."

"I don't know about that."

"You handled that situation brilliantly."

"I was just lucky."

"You've worked really hard."

"Anyone would have done the same."

For many people, accepting praise feels surprisingly vulnerable.

Criticism can feel familiar. Praise can feel exposing.

When somebody recognises something positive in us, they are seeing us differently from how we might see ourselves. That can create a strange tension.

Part of us wants to believe them.

Another part of us immediately starts gathering evidence against their claim.

Many of us carry an internal narrative that says:

"I'm not good enough."

"I'm not doing enough."

"I should be doing better."

So when praise arrives, it doesn't fit the story we've been telling ourselves.

Instead of updating the story, we reject the evidence.

Psychologists sometimes talk about confirmation bias, the tendency to notice information that supports what we already believe.

If we secretly believe we're failing, criticism feels believable.

If we secretly believe we're inadequate, praise can feel suspicious.

I've lost count of the number of clients who have achieved something significant only to immediately move the goalposts.

A promotion becomes "not a big deal."

A qualification becomes "anyone could have done it."

A personal achievement becomes "I just got lucky."

A difficult year survived becomes something they barely acknowledge.

We can be incredibly generous towards other people and remarkably harsh towards ourselves.

What struck me as I sat with this award was that perhaps accepting recognition doesn't have to mean believing you're perfect.

Those are two very different things.

Accepting praise isn't saying:

"I'm better than everyone else."

It's saying:

"I can acknowledge something positive without arguing with it."

That's a skill many of us were never taught.

Some of us grew up believing humility meant minimising ourselves.

Some of us learned that standing out attracted criticism.

Some of us were praised only when we achieved something exceptional, leaving us constantly chasing the next achievement.

Some of us simply became so focused on what we haven't done that we lost sight of what we have.

There is a difference between arrogance and acknowledgement.

Arrogance says, "I'm superior."

Acknowledgement says, "I've worked hard."

Arrogance says, "I deserve more than others."

Acknowledgement says, "I'm allowed to recognise what I've accomplished."

The older I get, the more I believe that acknowledging our efforts matters.

Not because we need constant validation.

Not because our worth depends on awards, certificates, or achievements.

But because if we never pause to recognise our progress, life becomes an endless cycle of striving.

Reach a goal.

Dismiss it.

Move the goalposts.

Start again.

Eventually nothing feels like enough.

The reality is that TLC Counselling didn't arrive where it is overnight.

There have been long days, difficult decisions, training courses, website updates, self-doubt, learning experiences, and countless conversations.

Most importantly, there have been clients who trusted me enough to share parts of their lives that they may never have shared elsewhere.

If this recognition reflects anything, it reflects those relationships.

It reflects every person who has visited the website, recommended the service, left a review, shared feedback, or chosen to take that difficult first step and reach out for support.

For that, I am genuinely grateful.

So after all my investigating, questioning, doubting, and Googling, I've decided to do something that doesn't always come naturally.

I've decided to accept the compliment.

Not because I believe I'm the perfect counsellor.

Not because I believe awards define the value of the work.

But because sometimes it's important to acknowledge what we've built, what we've learned, and the positive impact we've had.

And perhaps that's something all of us could practise a little more.

The next time somebody offers you a genuine compliment, notice what happens.

Notice the urge to dismiss it.

Notice the urge to explain it away.

Notice the urge to tell them why they're wrong.

Then try something different.

Take a breath.

Smile.

And simply say:

"Thank you."

You might be surprised by how difficult that feels.

And by how much you deserve it.